"Hey, Billy. Let's have some fun today.", Howard said, walking into my room at about noon, about a month before our eleventh birthday. I could tell that today was not going to be a normal day just looking at his face, which had a slight smile and a bit of a wistful look on it. "We can keep going until 5:00."

"What happens then?"

"I'm not going to tell you.", he replied. That's new.

We did practically everything- a rather ordinary (by normal standards) breakfast, then games, a long, beautiful submarine ride near curious dolphins, an excellent Japanese animated movie, then for lunch he had Sarah cook a wide variety of exotic food made with ingredients from several different countries. He played in earnest and with abandon, as if it was the end of the world, and he was making sure that I was actually having fun. Despite a few commands, I was. Howard's capable of almost anything, and to have him set himself to my joy like this was surprising, if nothing else. But all throughout, he kept checking the time, as if 2:30 would suddenly turn into 5:00 in five minutes. What the hell happens at 5:00?

"Are you still not going to tell me what happens?", I asked at 4:30 or so.

"I'm so sorry, Billy.", he said, shaking his head. "You don't have to worry about it. C'mon. Let's go play outside one more time, all right? We've got a bit more than twenty minutes. All the time in the world.", he said, and I saw tears in his eyes, and he was giggling to prevent himself from crying. He gets mad when he's upset, not sad, not like this. Something bad is going to happen. Something very bad. "But only if you want to."

"What?" He's said things like that before, but..

"Do you really want to play with me, Billy? You can answer that however you want. It's up to you." For him to say that... why? Why would it ever be up to me? What the hell is going on?!

I thought about it a bit. If something terrible is scheduled to happen (how can something bad be scheduled to happen to him? If only I knew what he wasn't telling me!), then if this request is genuine, it's the least I can do for him. "Yes. Yes, Howard, I'll go outside and play with you." He smiled widely, giggling some more, more tears in his eyes.

"Thank you. I'll always remember that you said that. We'll go anywhere on the island you want." I chose the stream, and we skinny-dipped into a pond. The waterfall cascading down my body was nice, if a little bit on the cold side. Watching the small fish in the pond it dropped into was nice, too, and I saw one of the bigger ones gulp a water skimmer with a plop. And the whole time, Howard was occasionally shaking his head, as if he didn't want to think about something.

Sooner rather than later, Howard looked at me slowly. "It's time to go in.", he said simply, we put our clothes back on, and I followed him back to the steel house.

As soon as we got inside, Howard turned on the intercom, and said, "Paul, Sarah. Come here, please." When was the last time he used that word?! Paul and Sarah came from upstairs. Paul looked nervous- he probably noticed how Howard was acting and heard some of the conversation. Sarah probably knew more, but she didn't look nervous at all. She never does.

"Paul, stand right there, facing the camera, and then don't try to move anything below your neck.", Howard said, pointing to a spot on the floor in front of a camcorder on a tripod, with an Enforcer near it. "Sarah, stand right there, same command I gave Paul.", he said, pointing to a spot five feet to what would be Paul's right. "Billy, stand right there, same command I gave Sarah.", he then said, pointing five feet to the right from where Sarah was going to stand. "And.. Billy? I forbid you to look to your left."

"What the hell is going to happen?!", I shouted. At roughly the same time, Paul shouted, "Howard, what's going on?!"

"You know how I can't stand up to all of them at once?", Howard asked rhetorically. "I should have been watching. I should have made sure nothing like this could happen. But now I'm either going to do this on camera.. or I'm dead. And no, I can't fake it. I'm sorry, all three of you. Especially for you, Sarah. I won't be able to save the baby, either." She gasped at that, but said nothing. Oh fuck... no wonder he was being so nice... my stomach contracted, and I forcefully held down my exotic last meal. It made sense. I didn't want it to make sense.

"No way- you're going to fucking kill us!", Paul shouted.

"I don't want to. I don't even want to think about it. This really is the way it has to be. I got the biggest threat I possibly could with the most amount of people behind it. It's pretty much you Billy, they don't want me in two places at once. The two of you are just to die pretty much for their fucking pleasure.", he spat out in anger and sorrow.

This was it. This was my turn to do manipulation, to convince him of the bad idea that this really was. "Bad decision, Howard. Very bad. You're losing your best assets, and you know it.", I said, with more than a tremor of fear in my voice. "This is one of the worst things you could possibly do, and you even said you'd never do it. This is foolish and stupid. If you let them make you kill us then you'll be easier prey for them, you know that. Tell them to go fuck themselves and start making examples. You've done it before."

"I can't, Billy.", he said, sniffling. Shit.. when was the last time he used those two words? This is bullshit... is he a- no, he couldn't possibly be a robot, if they could replace him with a robot here, they wouldn't need it for us.. "Not this time. You think I haven't thought about this? Uuuggh... Shit, Billy. It's been fun. I wish I could have had you longer.", he said, walking up to me and giving my motionless body a hug.

"NO WAY man! No way! No fucking way!!", Paul shouted, as Howard turned on the camera.

"Paul," Howard commanded him, "be quiet." Paul immediately shut up. I couldn't even see his face. I'll never see it again.

Howard went in front of us and faced the camera. "It is Thursday, 4:55 PM. This is Howard... the Dominator. Termination of servants is continuing, as per the mass request."

"Howard, you don't have to do this.", I told him matter-of-factly. "You really just don't."

He took a deep breath and a sniffle. "Do it to Paul.", he commanded the Enforcer, and I heard a single solitary bang. And I couldn't even watch it happen.

Oh my god no. Oh my god, no, no, no. "NOOOOOOO!!!", I screamed, as I heard Paul's body crumple to the floor. Howard clenched his teeth. My best friend was dead. That's how it had to happen, I guess. That's what Howard needed to do. Oh fuck no.

"Enforcer... do it to Sarah.", he said. Sarah died as she had lived- quietly.

No. No, there's got to be some way out of this. I can still talk him out of this. But how could I? Sarah and Paul were already dead. He decided that he had to do this, using logic I would never understand. This was it. If reincarnation is real, at least I hopefully won't be implanted in my next life.

"Howard.. I forgive you..", I told him. He only smiled, gently.

Then- in super slow motion- I saw Howard point at me, say "Do it to Billy.", and I heard the gun go off.
























"Billy," Howard asked as I continued to stand there, "what's today's date?"

Wait- the gun went off- Sarah and Paul are- Totally confused, I thought about the question. Sunday was the 28th, I know that, so... Monday, Tuesday... Wait. I know what day it is. "April first.", the command made me say, as I realized what had happened. "You son of a bitch!!", I burst, with a mixture of amazement, outrage, and relief. He went into paroxysms of laughter. I can't fucking believe this. Everything he did and said all day was nothing but an extremely elaborate April Fool's joke. "That was a- holy shit, you just made that whole thing up-"

"That was the greatest, the absolute greatest. Even I am never going to top that, Billy, never. I'll be watching this one every once in a while forever. You can move and look to the left again. Joke's over." Sarah got up, completely unmarked. The Enforcer walked out. Paul lay where he had fallen, completely still.

"Paul, get up.", he commanded, and Paul reluctantly got up. "I know, you wanted to at least fool me a little bit back. Nothing doing." Paul just sighed in response. "Howard.. I forgive you..", Howard said, imitating me, before laughing his ass off again.

"Shut the fuck up, you goddamned asshole!", I shouted, really spiteful and angry. No one has ever been able to execute a planned joke on me- ever. "You were the one who looked like you were going to cry!"

"Yes, I was, wasn't I? You have no idea how tough that is to do. It was worth it just to see the look on your face. I've seen you that scared before, but I've never got it on tape. And I don't ever think I've seen you this livid at me before, either."

"Fuck you dude, of course I'm pissed! How the fuck could you DO that to me?! You weren't just playing with me- you were fucking.. PLAYING with me!", I shouted, and he laughed at that. What I felt wasn't real rage, it was.. just.. he fucking.. eerrrgh! I just wanted to get him back! Another concept came into my mind and I expressed it. "But you know, Howard.. I'm actually honored. You did all that pretending, all that hoaxing, just to play a really devious joke on me." He only grinned in reply. I would have said more, but I really didn't know what to say. He did it for his own amusement, at my expense, but the way he did it was what got me. All that feeling, all those smiles and tears. All of it was as genuine as a Saturday morning infomercial- were any of his shown feelings even based on reality, or did he just make them out of whole cloth? And is there really much of a difference to a manipulator like him?

He giggled and turned the camera off. "Billy... I think even you are going to laugh at this someday.", he said, smiling and gently patting me on the head, a gesture of 'it's all right, don't be too mad'. He's right. In an extremely aggravating way, it is pretty damn funny.

"I can't believe you fell for that.", Sarah said. "Seriously. You knew better than that. You even said so yourself at the end."

"If you would have determined that this was a joke, Billy, I would have ceased it.", Howard said. He's telling the truth; it would be in his spirit of fairness, and that made me even angrier- all I needed to do to knock him off his big white high horse was call him on his jokery. But I called him foolish instead! Arrrgh! Had I but known! "A couple of times I thought you were going to get it, especially near the end. The real reason I didn't want you to look is because I didn't want to bother with fake blood. Had to use a fake gun, though."

"So Sarah and Paul..", I said.

"Unwilling actors.", Paul said. "Completely."

"I had no idea he'd even consider something like this. I had even less of an idea it'd actually work.", Sarah said.

"Sarah was right, Billy. You know I wouldn't even consider just capitulating like that.", Howard said, smiling. In retrospect that's a complete 'Duh!' "But now there is one thing I would like to know."

"Yes, Howard?"

"Do you actually forgive me?", he asked out of simple curiosity.

"Now? Hell no.", I replied. Paul chuckled.

"That's what I thought.", he said. "Billy, you have permission next April Fool's Day to use deceit to attempt to play a harmless joke on me."

"Do you consider what you just did to be harmless?", I asked.

"Yes."

"Good." Howard was trying to be fair, although it really wasn't. With deceit at my disposal I could pull practically any stunt I wanted, possibly even scarier, more deluding stuff than this. That wasn't the problem. The problem was him remembering his giving me that permission, or remembering April Fool's Day in general. After this ultimate prank, he almost certainly would.

He cordially invited me to attempt to kick his ass in games as revenge. As we played I wondered if I could deceit to.. no, he'd been pretty specific about that command. But what if I... as I fought him to numerous draws in numerous games, I hatched a truly devious plot indeed, and worked on making it actually harmless. Next April Fool's Day won't come soon enough.