I had wanted to personally examine new recruits; my wish, as usual, was granted. In five hours we were at the Bavarian headquarters, at midnight local time, in a small room near the larger auditorium I've done my speeches in. My servants took their positions, muted and rendered motionless, and I sat in what was meant to look somewhat like a throne. I have a part to play, after all.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I am going to be fair, and I am going to let you all ask me questions before I get started with you. Go ahead; unless it's really stupid, I won't kill you for it."

"Is it true that the first levels just sit back and use us to do their secretarial work while they sit back and eat us up, using us like specially-educated servants? Because if it is, I'm outta here, kill me if you want but I'm not going to get used.", an older, grey-haired man asked.

"You won't get used for them. Just me." There are Illuminati who work at the behest of other Illuminati- Jeremy's one of them- but the dynamic isn't master-servant at all.

"And so you just sit up on high giving out orders while the rest of us do all the tasks that the world needs to keep going."

"Exactly, although I actually usually never give specific orders at all. Yes, I know I have a lot more free time than any of you will ever hope to have, and that my unique abilities don't exactly get used all the time for the best interests of everyone. I admit that, it wasn't designed for fairness, none of this was. Some of you lower levels have taken to thinking that I run the world. No, I don't. Firsts and seconds run the world. It's just my job to see that everyone works together for our cause, and if you remember, I'm always on call for that. I really am the public servant, the biggest assassin in here," A lot of that comes from Sarah, but there wasn't an operational difference. "the guy you dial up when someone has seriously wronged you."

"So wait a minute.", another, younger man asked. "They just said, 'Okay, we need someone to get between us when we've got problems with each other because we don't want to have to handle it ourselves?'"

"Right again. They thought it over and they figured they did need someone to do the job, someone with no biases and nothing that would stop him from doing his job. We created every position in here for a reason. Several of you have commented on the efficiency you've never seen in your normal jobs." I read many of their conversations before I got here. "We have our own way of getting rid of waste. We have our own customs. We are still our own society, and we will always be." He nodded and smiled slightly. Being told the truth, I've found, tends to make anyone's (and I do mean anyone's!) acceptance of a situation a lot easier, especially if they know why things are done.

"All right, Dominator, so you're the guy to call whenever anyone starts blowing the lid on Plot A or Secret Plan B.", said a twenty-something woman with some understanding in her voice, grinning with some teeth showing, her round, medium-size breasts pushing out her sweater.

"Actually, if anyone does that, I invite you to kill him yourself if it's faster and the risk's low. This'll be hard to believe, but there hasn't been an Illuminated leak in over forty years." Some startled gasps and some incredulous looks greeted that on its way out of my lips. "Yes, I know, six thousand people. That's because we only accept people who can keep secrets. All of you, whether you know it or not, have been tested on your loyalty and ability to keep a secret."

"You hired her, didn't you?", said a bulky thirty-year-old with a mustache and the beginnings of a beard, realizing his mistake (like I'm supposed to know off the top of my head who 'her' is), but still wondering anyway.

"You can figure that out by yourself. Any recruitment information is accessible to you on the database and it does include such details."

"Speaking of databases, if we're all supposed to be able to keep secrets, then why are there things that aren't accessible to us?", a middle-aged woman asked.

"Because they don't want anyone knowing about it because they might become entranced with the idea and try to take it, because they don't believe in risking anything for any reason, because they don't want anyone opposing what they do, and also because they like to feel powerful when they make something super top secret." A general chuckle was their reply. I can exterminate idiots from the Illuminati, but attacking the egotism will end with a dead baby to go with the flushed bathwater.

"Did they create you in a factory?", another woman asked.

"You have good insight." I'd hardly refer to Northberg as a factory, except maybe for the Enforcers, but she's on the right track.

"I figured. They're not making any more of you, are they?" I could feel Billy repressing a chuckle.

"Not me in particular," Never before have I wondered what it would be like with two or three of Billy. It wouldn't be the same, that's for damn sure.. "but other engineereds, full and partial, both the complete creations of the facility and the modified children of the other Illuminati. So don't be surprised if you get outperformed by an eight year old from time to time."

"Speaking of which.. Howard, how old are you?", was another question from the man with the mustache and beard.

"Eleven and a half.", I said, watching his face light up with curiosity and incredulity.

"You don't look it."

"Of course not. When your projected maximum height is 7'2", people tend to think you're older."

"Balls..", I heard from the back.

"No, those are normal size." General laughter. "All right, serious stuff time. For now I'm going to stick to the basics. Show of hands, who here got in of their own merit?" Every hand in the room went up instantly, without hesitation. "Who here has completely subordinated all other loyalties to the Illuminati?" Again, every hand was up, and they all looked as if they meant it. Some people may see this sort of oath business as silly, but they don't have the observational powers I do. Sure, I can be fooled, but it's an efficient test anyway. Now for a real question. "Who here is at the behest of another Illuminatus whom you know by name?" Three hands were up; the ones with raised hands were surprised at the rest who weren't, and vice versa. From left to right I decided to point to them one by one, starting on the first one, a 35-year-old man with glasses. Hmm, still haven't had those eyes fixed? You'll love Northberg. "How do you know the person who introduced you to the Illuminati?"

"George came to me after the tests, and said he'd pointed the recruiters at me, and he'd set up my resources so that I could help him with his part of the world. He said he needed a master's help, not a servant's."

"He set up all your resources? So, really, whose resources are they?"

He knew the right answer: "Mine." If he answered anything else I might have killed him.

I went to the next Illuminatus, the 20-something woman who told me I was the guy to call. "How do you know the person who introduced you to the Illuminati?"

"I don't, really. I don't work with him at all. Or anything else.", she said, dispelling it before it got started. "He just came to me after the testing, smiled, and said he saw me in the normal world and knew I'd make a good Mistress." 'Mistress' is a perfectly acceptable term, of course, but it's rarely used to describe female Illuminati.

I smiled and went to the next person, a balding, slightly dark-skinned man of possibly sixty, who was nervous about being put on the spot. It's all right; I'm not going to kill you for stage fright. I was half-tempted to give him a different starting question, just to freak him out, but decided against it. "How do you know the person who introduced you to the Illuminati?"

"He's an old friend of mine." That, I wasn't expecting. I was silent, so he explained further. "He said he was watching me and that he thought I was ready for it, having changed over the years, so he had me selected for testing." We don't like people who change here at the Illuminati. It means they can become people other than what they were when they signed up. That's not enough to hold against him, though, especially since he's so old.

"So how many questions did he help you with?"

"What? None! He didn't tell me jack!" His denial was both vehement and, I'm pretty sure, sincere.

"And do you work in a department near his?"

"Not even close. He's in global radio, I make parts for Northberg Medical Facility. Got a bunch of Enforcers to do it with, too." I smiled at him. He's okay. He was visibly relieved at me doing that.

"Okay. Now I'm going to find out what everyone else is doing here." I started pointing around the room, demanding to know what each of them was doing with his or her resources here, an absolute necessity for everyone to have an answer to, even if it's technical, complicated, or just plain long. Then I asked them why they accepted the invitation to join the Illuminati, and got practically the full range of logical responses. When I was done that, I simply said "Good. You're all still alive, so you all pass." I'm not sure how many of them know how easily I can kill them, but I decided against giving a demonstration. I left, letting them talk among themselves- this is good, they should talk to each other a lot more than they talk to me.